Tabula Rasa Boosha
by Radar-rox
Summary: What happened when i had writers block on another story and decided to watch Buffy. The boosh lads forget who they are, and have help from some old favourite characters in retrieving their memories!


**Hello my lovely readers! How are you? This fic came about because I was supposed to be working on the next in my 'Tara' series, got stuck, ended up watching Buffy and had an idea. So here it is. Please R&R!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything booshy, its all Noel and Julians. And the 'tabula rasa' thing comes from Buffy, i don'd own that either.**

The front door burst open and was immediately followed by a bout of drunken laughter - Bollo had fallen over when he'd shoved it with his shoulder.

They had been out celebrating after Howard and Vince had been offered a gig, the first in 4 months.

'This is it little man' Slurred Howard. He'd said this little speech of his twelve times already that night, and each time it got a little less coherent. 'This is the beginning, from now on, its all upwards!'

'That's right!' cried Vince – as Howard got deeper and less coherent, Vince became more upbeat and lively. 'We're gonna hit it big, I can feel it!'

They collapsed onto the sofa.

'I need a drink.'

'Naboo, its your round.'

'We're at home.'

'Oh yeah. Well, make us something then, will ya?';

He sighed. 'Get me up.' They pushed him to a standing position and he staggered over to the drinks cabinet.

As he pulled out and inspected various bottles, Vince went to the bathroom, and as he emerged, caught sight of something purple and shiny in Naboo's room. There were two of his favourite words, and he decided to investigate.

He found a bottle of liquid on the desk, and picked it up, transfixed by the lights within. There was a label but his eyes were too drunk to focus on it, so he decided to take a sip and see what it was like. Now, this might not have been the best thing to do, but luckily it tasted yummy, and he brought it back to the room with him.

By this time, Naboo had mixed up a jug of margaritas. At least, what he claimed were margaritas – they had very little tequila, so he'd decided to make up the rest of the recipe with the first bottle that had come to hand.

As the shamans back was turned while he searched for glasses in the fridge, Vince poured a generous dosage of the bottled mixture into the jug and sat back, hiding the bottle under a cushion – he knew how Naboo was about people touching his stuff.

'Got 'em!' Naboo finally declared, holding up four glasses triumphantly. One of then was a glass vase, but no-one really minded.

He shakily poured the drinks out and handed them round. They were greedily gulped down, and then all four men (well, three men and one gorilla) slumped over, fast asleep.

* * *

They awoke some hours later, feeling dazed but otherwise ok – it seemed that whatever the potion Vince had found was, it somehow combated hangovers.

The first to wake saw a full head of well-coiffed hair resting on his shoulder, and a slender body slumped against his. He smiled, feeling pleased with himself – perhaps he'd managed to pull last night.

The body stirred and sat up, to reveal not the face of a woman, but..

_A man!_ He thought. _Oh god…._

The man spoke. 'Who're you?!'

'I'm-' Wait. Who was he? '…. I dunno.'

There were two more figures next to them. 'Who are all of you?'

One of them, a small man in mysterious clothes frowned, eyes still closed. 'I'm… me, that's who.'

The figure on the end shifted as well. It was-

'A gorilla!'

Um, excuse me, whose telling the story here?

'Oh, sorry, carry on.'

Thank you. It was a gorilla.

The third man finally opened his eyes at this, and looked to his right. 'Argh!' He scrambled quickly over the coffee table to get away from the ape, who, now being awake went….. ape.

It began to screech, and threw whatever came to hand at the others. They ducked and tried to find cover, but before they did, the ape leapt out of the window into the street below.

The remaining three men looked at each other, relieved.

'So… neither of you know who you are either?' asked the first. The others both shook their heads. 'I wonder what happened to us?'

'What d'you mean?'

'Well, something must have happened to us to make us forget who we are, like something traumatic perhaps.'

'Maybe it was magic' smiled the second man mysteriously.

'Don't be daft, there's no such thing.' Scoffed the third, discovering a turban on his head and promptly removing it. 'Perhaps its some government testing thing.'

They contemplated this. 'What are we gonna do?' asked the second man quietly.

'Hospital?'

'Oh yeah, that would work out great wouldn't it? 'excuse me, but we all woke up together and don't remember who we are. Oh yes, and there was a _gorilla_ there too.' They'd have us committed!'

'Maybe we should be committed.'

'No, we're not crazy, we just…don't know who we are.'

'Perhaps we should look around, see if there's any clues about who we are, or what we're doing here.' Suggested the third man.

They agreed, and started looking around the kookily decorated place they were in. It seemed to be a flat, and by looking out of the window they assumed they were in a rather large city.

A short corridor led to the bedrooms, and they each chose one to investigate.

The first was a fair size, but seemed smaller because of wardrobes on every wall. These harboured countless tops, trousers, jackets, shoes, scarves, hats…. Every item of clothing possible. There was also a rack full of cds, mostly 80s electro, but also some modern indie music. He thumbed through them, occasionally picking them up for a closer look. Next to the cd rack was a dull length mirror that folded out either side to give a better view of outfits.

The edge of the mirror was surrounded with photographs and sketches. The first to catch his eye was a photograph on the far right, it was of a man laughing, with wispy brown hair and a moustache.

_A moustache_ he thought. _What an idiot_.

He shook his head, smiling, then looked up at the mirror.

'Argh!'

The opposite room was fairly ordinary, small and painted blue with matching bedclothes. There was a modest wardrobe in the corner, and boxes of records stacked against the walls. He flipped through them. Jazz. Did he like jazz? He really didn't know, but if the room was nice, and if he liked the room, might he also like jazz?

The third room was very interesting. It was painted in deep colours with soft lighting, and a four-poster bed stood in the centre of the room, surrounded by bead curtains. There were candles all over the place, and jars with strange objects in. most interesting of all were the contents of the bookshelves – 'Beige magic', 'Spells for everyday life', 'Grooming potions – the shamans guide'

'Hey' called one of the other two from outside. He grabbed one of the books and went to join them.

'Alright? Find anything much?' he asked.

'Yeah, look at this.' The little one held up a letter he'd found just as he was about to leave the room. It was addressed to a Howard T.J Moon and a Vincent Noir. 'Something about a gig.'

'Hmm. Maybe they're in a band or something.'

'Look at what I found.' The one with a moustache held up a photograph of himself with the two others and the gorilla that had left through the unconventional method of a window. 'There's loads more like it in there.' He said, nodding over his shoulder to the room he'd just come from.

'I guess we're friends then.' Said the one who looked like a woman, and the others nodded in agreement. 'Cor, that's a relief! I was worried that you were a science teacher or something, or that you might be one of those quiet serial killers, y'know.' He laughed, but the other two didn't seem to find it as funny. 'Oh um, sorry.'

They decided to let it go, and moved on. 'That photo must mean that two of us must be these two, Harold and Vincent or whatever they're called.'

'I've got to be one of them, I've always wanted to be in a band!' exclaimed the second. 'I think.' He added.

'And me, I can feel the passion and flow of melody pulsing through my veins…' said moustache man.

'Sound more like a poet to me.' offered the little one.

He considered this. 'Yeah.. a poet!' a smile grew on his face as he imagined nights in smoky bars reading his work, surrounded by adoring artsy types who hung on his every word. 'Yeah, perhaps you're the on in a band then.'

He scrunched up his nose. 'Nah, I don't fancy it. You take it, I'm sure you can do both.'

'Cool.' He turned back to the other man. 'Who d'you wanna be then, Vincent or-'

'T.J!'

'Wha- T.J?'

'Yeah, look it says Howard T.J Moon. I mean, obviously I'm not gonna keep Howard am I, I'm gonna ditch it for my middle initials, T.J.'

'Why wouldn't you keep Howard?'

'Howard's a rubbish name. And Vincent, c'mon, do I look like a Vincent to you?'

'I suppose not.'

'Exactly, Vincent's a name for an older-' An indignant look shot across the other mans face. 'I mean, more _distinguished_ individual, like you!'

'Vincent' seemed to like being thought of as distinguished, and agreed.

'Alright' said T.J, rubbing his hands together. 'We're Vincent and T.J, who d'you recon you are?'

'Dunno. I'll probably just name myself.'

'You sure? I mean, we could see if there's any other letters with names on them?'

'I didn't see any,' said Vincent. 'Did either of you?'

They shook their heads.

'S'alright, I don't mind.'

'So what are you gonna name yourself?' asked Vincent.

'Maybe Mike.'

'Cool, so we're Vincent, T.J and Mike'

'And the gorilla.' Said Vincent, holding up the photograph once more.

They all looked at the door to the fourth bedroom.

* * *

Tentatively, Vincent pushed open the door, not quite sure of what they might find in the bedroom of a gorilla. Actually, it was quite normal – a desk, cd player, headphones, minifridge. That it, except for the huge tree that somehow seemed to be growing in the middle of the room.

'Wow!' cried T.J as they moved around the tree in amazement. It was actually only part of a tree, and appeared to have jutted out of the floor itself, and disappeared into the ceiling. The ape seemed to have built a sort of nest to sleep in at the point which the trunk separated into branches.

'But… how?' asked Vincent, astounded.

'Magic?' offered T.J again.

Mike scoffed at the suggestion once more.

'Oh yeah?' he replied. 'Have a look at this then.' He led the way back to the bedroom he'd come from. 'Look at all of this stuff.'

Mike looked through the books while Vincent investigated the contents of the jars.

'Whosever room this is buys a lot of this 'Naboo' brand stuff' he said, holding up shaving cream, plughole covers and hair wax.

'Ooh' said T.J, trying out a little of the wax on his hair. Turning round, he noticed something he hadn't seen before, sitting on a velvet cushion in the corner.

'Hey, look at this!' he cried, picking it up. 'A crystal ball!'

'Wow..' The others hurried over and they passed it round. When it touched Mike's hands, it began to glow and he dropped it in alarm. Right onto his foot.

'SHIT!' He hopped around in pain as the ball rolled away under the bed.

'Come on, there might be some ice in the freezer' said Vincent as they helped him back into the living room and put him on the sofa while they searched for something to make an icepack with.

Mike sat back on the sofa, trying to ignore the throbbing pain, and felt something digging into his back. Reaching behind him, he found a bottle half full of purple sparkly liquid, labelled 'forget-me-lots potion'.

The others had managed to make an icepack, and after carefully removing Mike's curly-toed trainer, placed it delicately on his foot.

'Thanks.' He smiled. 'Look at this.' He said, holding up the bottle.

'Forget-me-lots' muttered T.J. 'Hey, it's a crazy idea, but do you think this had anything to do with-'

They both nodded. 'Oh, right.' He smiled.

'Hang on, I think I saw something like that in one of those books!' said Mike.

'Which one, I'll go get it.' Replied Vincent.

'Um….'

* * *

'Ow, careful!'

'Sorry. You know, you're heavier than you look.'

'Just shut up and carry me will you?'

They had finally decided to carry Mike back into the bedroom in the hope that when confronted with the books, he might remember which one it was that mentioned the forgetting potion.

'I only looked at that one, that one and that one' he said, pointing them out for T.J to reach down as Vincent put him down on the bed.

'That's one each then.' Said T.J, passing them round.

They flicked through the books, until Vincent found what they were looking for. 'Here we go look, forget-me-lots. Oh, and underneath there's a potion to make you remember stuff!'

'Great!' grinned T.J.

'Yeah, - oh wait, not great. Look at these ingredients.'

He passed the book over so T.J and Mike could read it. Listed were some of the strangest ingredients they'd seen – dogs nose, lemur tail, witch hazel (from real witches).. the list went on.

'Where are we gonna get all this stuff?'

'Aldi?'

'Hey, I've got an idea! Mike, that crystal ball glowed when you picked it up, yeah?'

'Yeah, and it hurt when I dropped it.'

'Yeah, but perhaps you could hold it again and see if it shows somewhere were we can find all this stuff!'

'S'worth a try I suppose.'

They retrieved the ball from under the bed, and placed it ceremoniously in Mike's hands. He frowned down into it, and concentrated as it once again began to glow.

He tried to focus on the items he remembered from the list, and began to see something that looked promising, but it suddenly disappeared to be replaced by a pair of eyes, looking deep into him. Then suddenly they disappeared as well, and the ball was empty.

'See anything?' asked T.J hopefully.

Mike sighed. 'Nothing much. Some plants and other weird stuff, and someone's eyes. Nothing that will help.'

They sighed, defeated. 'So we cant do anything.'

T.J and Vincent helped Mike hobble back into the living room.

As they entered, a black line appeared in the middle of the room, which slowly grew to a large, black spinning shape, accompanied by a smaller pink one on the coffee table.

They stopped spinning and were revealed to be a man and a... head.

Saboo glanced down at Tony Harrison. 'Oh what! Why do I always end up with you tagging along?'

'Aye… I don't tag along with anyone.' He rasped.

'Please, when have you ever done anything by yourself, you always need someone to put you in your papoose and take you around like a cock-shaped bowling ball'

'Now you listen 'ere boy, I've taken care of a lot of things on my own,-'

'What like Tony, you're a head and a bunch of tentacles, what can you possibly do?'

'Alright, I'm not very good at the physical aspect of the job, but I'll have you know that I'm a great and unique thinker. I've outwitted many an enemy with the power of the mind.'

'Have you Tony, well-'

Vincent cleared his throat to get their attention. 'Who're you?'

'My names Saboo-'

'Tony Harrison.'

'- we've been sent from the Board of Shaman to restore your memories. Do you know what happened?'

'Uh yeah,' said T.J, producing the purple bottle from somewhere about his person and handing it over. 'it was that stuff, we think.'

Saboo studied it briefly, then passed it down to Tony while saying smugly 'It seems Naboo's cocked up again.'

'Who?' asked Mike.

'Hey, Naboo was the name of that stuff in the bedroom with the crystal ball.' Said Vincent.

'Naboo' said Saboo, looking at Mike. 'Is you.'

'Me?'

'That's right son.' Tony piped up.

'So, was that my room back there, with the weird books and jars and crystal ball?'

'I'd except so…. you're a shaman.' Said the suspiciously shaped pink head.

'Though how is a mystery.' Muttered Saboo.

'Are we shaman too?' asked T.J excitedly.

'No.' said Saboo stiffly

'Naboo 'ere's the only one of you whose a shaman.' Explained Tony. He looked around, then asked 'Where's Bollo?'

'Who?'

'Your familiar, Bollo, he should be here as well.'

'Um… he's not a gorilla is he?' asked Vincent.

'That's right.'

'Yeah, he, um….' T.J indicated the broken window.

'Loosing your familiar Naboo. The Board of Shaman wont like that at all.'

Mike, I mean, Naboo, looked up at him. 'Sorry, have I done something to you or something? Its just that you're being a complete berk.'

Saboo was about to say something back, but Tony Harrison interrupted. 'We've got to find Bollo and get him back here quick-smart.'

'Very well. We'll go by carpet, it'll be quicker.' Saboo led the way up to the roof where a flying carpet was waiting for them, leaving Vincent to tentatively pick up Tony Harrison and carry him along.

'Oh wow!' cried T.J, climbing on. 'This day just keeps getting better and better!'

'Not for long' said Saboo.

'What?'

Tony explained from Vincent's lap. 'If we don't restore your memories soon, they may be lost forever.' They looked at each other in shock. 'That's why we've got to hurry up and find Bollo.'

'Lets get a move on then.' Said Naboo.

* * *

The carpet soared high over London, and T.J persisted in leaning over the edge to see better, despite being told off by Saboo at least three times.

Tony Harrison would occasionally lift himself up on his tentacles and peer towards the edge.

'You'd better not be sick on my carpet again Tony, it was 35 euros to have it cleaned last time!'

'If you'd have got a receipt, I'd have paid you back.'

'Oh really Tony, like that time you were supposed to pay me back for that baguette, and never-'

Vincent thought this was as good a time as any to interrupt. 'How are we going to find this Bollo? He's got a whole city to hide in!'

'We're going to look in the most likely places, zoos and clubs.'

'Righ- clubs?'

'He DJs' supplied Tony.

'A DJing gorilla?' Vincent laughed in disbelief.

'He does better DJing than you do Moon.' Said Saboo over his shoulder. It was fairly obvious he wished this trip could've been made in different company.

T.J frowned, confused. 'Moon's my name, isn't it?'

Saboo consulted a piece of paper. 'Howard Moon DJs at jazz clubs and has a moustache, Vince Noir wears women's clothes.'

T.J and Vincent, or Vince and Howard, as it turned out they were, looked at each other. 'Oh.'

'My names Vincent?' asked Vince, with a hint of disbelief. 'How uncool is that?'

'You were quite happy to give it to me!' said Howard. "Distinguished' you said!'

'Yeah well y'know. I wanted to be T.J.'

'Hmm. Anyway, you're not Vincent, thingy there said it was Vince.'

'Oh yeah, that's quite-'

'Excuse me, I object to being referred to as 'thingy!' cried Saboo, while Vince continued his interrupted speech inside his head. -_Cool actually, Vince. Vince Noir…. Rock'n'roll star. Heh, that's quite good._

'Sorry,' said Howard, 'I just forgot you name. Banoo, isn't it?'

'Saboo, and if you don't shut up I'll throw you off the carpet like a piece of fluff.'

They were all silent for the rest of the journey. They dropped into clubs and zoos (sometimes literally), in an order of which was closest, but had no luck. It wasn't until they were on their way back that Tony Harrison remembered something.

'Hey, have we tried that old zoo you all used to work at?'

'I thought it was demolished.' Frowned Saboo.

'No, they were going to but it would've cost too much money, so they shut it down.'

Saboo turned the carpet sharply in the air, and they swooped down to a decrepit-looking zoo, with graffiti all over the walls and gates hanging off their hinges.

They crept through the eerie silence, feeling as though they weren't the only presence there. Their suspicions were soon confirmed when they turned a corner and saw a gorilla dressed in a ragged blazer and yellow jumper. He poked at the ground with a stick, and next to him lay a large false moustache.

'Here ya go Bainbridge, black with two sugars, just how you like it.' Another man came into sight, holding a cup of coffee and wearing nothing but a blue safari top and black pants.

As soon as the gorilla was handed the cup of tea it tipped it upside down and threw it on the floor. The man seemed slightly disappointed by this, but spoke agreeably nonetheless. 'Uh, yeah, I never much liked coffee either…'

He caught sight of the intruders. 'Hey, welcome to the Zooniverse, I'm general manager Bob Fossil, and this is Dixon Bainbridge, the owner!' he indicated the gorilla. He had a slightly crazed look in his eyes, and looked like he hadn't eaten properly for a while – his blue shirt hung loosely off him.

'That's our gorilla.' Said Vince.

'What?'

'The gorilla, behind you, he's coming with us.'

'Wha- NO! You cant take him, m'Bainbridge went away but I knew he'd come back, and here he is, good as a new set of plates! We can live here together on the squeaking rat's seeds!' It seemed that the American had been surviving merely on guinea pig food, which would explain his huge weight loss.

'I've had just about enough of this.' Said Saboo, firing a dart first at Fossil, then Bollo. Both fell over, out cold.

Saboo stepped over Fossil to get to Bollo, followed by Naboo, who was carrying Tony Harrison.

Howard looked down at Fossil. 'Shouldn't we help him?'

'He'll be fine'

Vince looked at Howard, shrugged, and followed the others.

They stripped Bollo of his strange attire and carried him back to the carpet, heading back to the flat.

As soon as they arrived, Saboo leapt off the carpet and hurried down to Naboo's room to find what he needed to cure them (and get away from them as soon as possible – he'd forgotten to set the video for _Deal or No Deal_).

He was eventually ready, and came back into the living room clutching a vial filled with a bright green liquid. He placed the vial on the coffee table, and told them to stand around it in a circle. He and Tony began to chant, blessing the liquid with the power of memory. It was then poured into the same glasses they'd been drinking from the night before, and Naboo, Vince Howard and Bollo (who, being asleep, required some assistance) all gulped it down at once.

* * *

An hour or so later, and Howard was led on the sofa with an icepack on his head. It seemed that the original potion had not in fact prevented the effects of a hangover, but instead had simply caused them to forget that they _should_ be hungover. Now that they had their memories back, the hangovers had arrived. With a pub load of friends.

Naboo was tiding his room yet again, although for once it wasn't only Vince and Howard who'd ransacked it but also himself, and Saboo.

He sighed as Vince knocked tentatively on the door. 'Yeah?'

'Hey Naboo.' Naboo nodded, but turned his attention back to the artefacts he was putting back in their boxes.

Vince sat awkwardly on the bed. 'Sorry about earlier, with taking that stuff and all.'

Naboo sighed again, and looked up at him. 'I don't understand why you always have to look at my stuff. I've got dangerous things in here Vince, that potion could've been anything!'

Vince looked at his knees. 'I know.'

'Well then why'd you do it?'

'I dunno, I was drunk, and I could see it sparkling against the door…'

'I don't just mean earlier Vince, I mean when you do it other times as well.'

'Because Naboo, you've got such cool stuff in here, we're only curious. Besides, we don't know anything about you except you're a shaman who likes Fleetwood Mac and cooking chillis.'

'You could just ask.'

'About you, or to see your stuff?'

'Both.'

'But that'd be easy. Where's the adventure in asking?'

'It is polite Vince.'

'Jagger doesn't worry about being polite, he's a rebel, like me'

'Rebel… you're more of a Revel.'

'What, them sweets?'

'Yeah'

'That doesn't make sense, are you stoned again?'

'Only a bit.'

'Y'know,' said Vince, standing up and rubbing his hands together. 'I could go for some revels, and a cuppa tea, whaddya say?'

**A/N – about 'forget-me-lots' – I thought of it and had the sudden feeling that I had read it in another fanfic. I didn't wanna go through all of the fics on here, there are now 46, so if it does belong to someone reading this, I'm not trying to steal it, but it sounds very cool, so if it was you that thought of it, well done!**

**Mega-superific thanks to Hannah, my 50s wife, for helping me out with the ending and generally being great.**

**I know that it seems rather unlikely for Naboo to say that much all in one go, but in the realm of fanfiction, I'm the boss. All kneel and praise me! Or, y'know, just accept it as fictional. Oh, and please review, you know i love the love!**


End file.
